A group of girls is almost as bad as them and frequently get drawn into the boy’s antics.  Four of the boys recently crossed the line with another teacher. They are now sitting on the line of expulsion.  One more major infraction and they are gone. The rest of that class is still about as crazy as ever though.

Today, I asked them to work on a review packet that I had previously given them.  If they had finished it, I asked them to do other work.  And if they had no other work, I told them they could hang out quietly in their desks.  By mid-period, they were crazy.  They were going all over the place and chattering like crazy.  For the most part I let it happen, though I tried to rein in the worst excesses.  I frequently asked them to quiet down.  They would be quiet for about 30 seconds and then the volume level would return.  All through the period I was thinking “this class is in deep trouble and we’re all supposed to be letting them know that, I shouldn’t be being this easy on them”.  But for me to really snap, I need something really bad.  For most the period I just couldn’t find it in my heart to really punish them.  Aside from which there are some great kids in that class who don’t deserve the punishment!

Finally towards the end I snapped.  I don’t know where it came from, I don’t really feel it was completely warranted for the circumstances.  It happened after I’d asked them to quiet down for the umpteenth time.   One of the students commented to me that it was loud and she didn’t like it either.  I asked them to be quiet  again, it lasted 15 seconds and I snapped.  “Every body sit down in your own chair, now!”

I gave them a long lecture about how I’d asked them to be quiet more times than I could count.  That when teaching next store you couldn’t hear your own voice over the noise they made.  That I understand what its like to be couped up in a classroom all day, and didn’t want to do this too them, but if they didn’t listen to me, I had to.  I’m not sure they even understood what I said.  I normally speak fast, when I’m angry… I go a million miles an hour.  I made them sit silently in their desks until the end of the period.

Shockingly, they listened to me and did just that.  (Holy shit!)  But I felt even worse than I thought I would doing that to them.  I was shaking after lecturing them.  And I know my cheeks were flushed.  I think I managed to mostly cover it up though.  Part of it was that I didn’t feel like the whole class really warranted my anger.  Or that what they’d been doing so far warranted it.  And I think another part was that it was sustained and had to be.  It couldn’t just be a flash.

Normally I have a flash temper, I explode, get it out and I’m done.  This is perfect for in class.  If someone’s doing something bad, I can yell at them, make them stop and then turn and smile at another student feeling fine.  And moments later, if the student has stopped and is being good, smile and be fine with the one that got in trouble.

But today it was and had to be sustained.  I had to maintain my anger at the whole class to keep them in check and make them understand that they have to listen.  The whole time I couldn’t help but think “Do they understand why I’m doing this to them?”, “Am I overkilling it?”, “Do they really deserve this?”

I don’t know the answers to any of those questions.  I think, even if it wasn’t deserved for their immediate infraction, it was more than deserved for the collective infractions of the semester.  But will they get that?  Probably not.

To fill their bellies, drink and speak;

People find this a great place to meet.

Though enter you may not,

A flag you might have got.

It’s funny the things you find yourself doing as a teacher.

Here you may wish to stay,

and simply float away.

But leave you must,

for a flag you lust.

If you told me before I came here that I’d be writing bad poetry in a few months, I’d think you were crazy.

In this room you arrive,

at our EP camp’s hive.

Behind a desk, greeters stand,

find flag near, students can.

Admittedly, they’re riddles for the scavenger hunt in this weekends EP camp.  They don’t have to be good.

In a place where people come and go,

Where from, I do not know.

Where to, I do not care.

Destinations  flag, you may find there.

Still, I find myself feeling kind of proud of them.  And even getting a little attached to them.  That one my partner didn’t think was obvious enough.   Personally I thought it was perfectly clear.  And for some inexplicable reason I’m deeply offended that my partner doesn’t agree.  Can you guess to where it refers?  They’re all places in a hotel.

Outside of a door of sleep,

try not to make a peep.

Enter through no doors,

and a flag might be yours.

Then again, other changes my partner made, I love.  The above two lines are not mine, but made this one infinitely better.

Maybe I’m just worked up.  I spent all of last period doing my best to emanate intense displeasure at my students.  They just wouldn’t shut up.   It’s the end of the day.  There’s a damned good reason the American school day ends at 2:30 pm.  There’s no way students are going to focus that late in the day.

Those numbers are a little dispiriting though considering the number of bloggers I’ve contacted and places I’ve posted the link.  I know getting a community like this off the ground is very difficult.  Especially one that depends on people taking the 10 – 15 minutes it takes to post a recipe (longer with an image).  But I’m running out of ideas for how to get people interested in it.  The feedback I’ve gotten suggests that people like it, in principle, but aren’t blown away by it enough to join and help see it off the ground for the most part.

I’ve been reading up on how other sites like this – community driven sites – got going and it seems like their founders either already had a large audience to draw on or ghost wrote a whole bunch of content to get the ball rolling.  Well… I’ve got neither.  I can only cook so much food, and right now with out a real kitchen and limited to Thai ingredients what I can make is even further limited.   So I can’t really ghost write unless I decide I’m no longer going to post images.  And I don’t have a large group of followers to recruit from.

I feel like an arse cold e-mailing bloggers and posting on forums to attract people.  Although that has attracted a few people.  And I can’t afford any advertising.  Google’s taking its sweet time figuring out what exactly the sites about.  Google’s current keywords for it are “fridge” and “food”.  Which makes sense given the title, but not the content.  And the word “recipe” is certainly in the content enough that Google ought to consider it a keyword by now – but doesn’t.  Which is frustrating.

I’ll just have to be patient and keep plugging at it.  Hopefully it’ll be better when I have a kitchen and can cook every night to add recipes.   Also, to you readers who may be out there.  If you have a blog, website, facebook or twitter and want to give Fridge to Food a link and a shout out I would be deeply gratified.  Also, if you happen to have a recipe lying around to post that’d be amazing as well!

“Took what away?”

“Your hair.”

“Oh, you mean, I shaved!  Yes, I did.”

“You very handsome.”

Okay, twelve year old girl, telling me I’m handsome.  That’s a little awkward.

“Thanks…”

Into the classroom, to talk to the Thai teachers.

“So, the students who need to retake my test, when can they do it?”

“We have free period, period 2,  Tuesday.”

Rats, I teach then.  I take my glasses off to rub my eyes and run my hand through my hair to get my bangs out of my face.

Two of the girls who are clustered around the Thai teacher’s desk squeal and start giggling madly.

“Ajarn Dan!”

“What?”

They don’t answer me, and instead bolt from the classroom still giggling.  Strange, but never mind.  Back to the Thai teacher.

“I teach then, when else?”

“Homeroom!”

“That works, homeroom it is.”

I turn to go to find the door blocked by a mass of 12 and 13 year old girls, squealing and giggling.

“What?  What are you all on about?”

“Ajarn Dan, take your glasses off!”

“You want me to do, what?”

“Take your glasses off and then…” They mime running their hands through their hair.

“No, oh, come on, girls.  Let me through.”  They won’t budge.

“Ajarn Dan!  Please!  Take your glasses off!”

Back over my shoulder the two Thai teachers I’d been talking to are watching with huge grins on their faces.  Alright, just this once I’ll appease them.

“Alright, alright…”

I take my glasses off and repeat them motion.  The squeals and giggles are deafening.  Over my shoulder the Thai teachers have collapsed into uproarious laughter.  The sea of girls finally breaks and I make my way through and walk as quickly as possible to the teacher’s office.  A mass of 12 year old girls just asked me to take my glasses off and run my hand through my hair.  I’m not sure what to make of that…

“Ajarn! Ajarn!  Free time!”

“No, you can’t have free time.  We have to work today.”

“Ajaaarrrnnn!”

“Work!”

Faces fall all over the room. Eh, they do this every class.

The laptop gets plugged into the projector and the white boards pushed aside to reveal the screen underneath.  Suddenly, the sullen looks disappear from the student’s faces.

I know I haven’t used the projector that much, but really?  Surely other teachers have used it plenty of times before.  It can’t be that interesting.

“Okay, today we’re going to talk about Acids, Bases and Solutions.  But first we need to discuss Atoms and Molecules.  Who remembers solutions?”

The students are silent and attentive to the Powerpoint on the projector screen.  It’s just black text on a white background.

“Solution, suspension and colloid?”

“Yes, that was what we talked about.  Who remembers what makes a solution a solution?”

Blank looks.  Yeah, expected that.

“Solutions don’t separate when you leave them sitting out.  The particles are dissolved.  Today we’re going to talk more about solutions.  The solute is the substance that gets dissolved…”

Furious note taking, intense concentration.  Where is this coming from?  The screen is a smart board, but it’s off.  I’m just lecturing from a white background with black text.  From whence comes the focus?

“The acids we’re going to study are called Arrhenius acids – don’t worry I’m not going to test you on the name.  Just know that there are other kinds that work differently…”

“Teacher, I haven’t finished copying.”

“Okay, I’ll wait.”

Silence while they write.  Some talking once they’ve finished, but so subdued.  Wonder if someone gave them sedatives last period.

“Some examples are hydrochloric acid, sulfuric acid and acetic acid… Alright, there’s the bell.  We’ll finish this next time!”

“Bye bye, Ajarn!”

Smiling faces, happy students, who knew power points could be so entrancing?

“Eeeeewwww!”

“We’re going to go straight from the book on this one, so take out your green books and turn to the page on the Reproductive System.  Do you all have your green books?”

“Yes, Ajarn.”

“Okay, we’ll start with the testis.  Who can tell me the function of the testis?”

There’s a surprising lack of giggles.  Maybe they can’t understand me.  I think I might be okay with that on this one.

“To produce sperm.”

Never mind.

“Ajarn, this is the 9th time I’ve learned this!”

I turn around to find a look of great distress on the face of the thirteen year old girl who’d announced this.

“Well, we have to do it one more time.  Hopefully, it’ll be the last.  I’m going to rush through it so we can get to new stuff.  Just one day, okay?”

She looks bummed, I don’t blame her.

“I don’t want to learn it again.”

“Really?  I would think this would be your favorite subject!”

She turns bright red, starts laughing hysterically and buries her face in her hands.  Thirteen! These kids are thirteen!  Too much!  They all look at least 16.  Hard to believe they’re thirteen.  I wonder if Thai food has as much growth hormone in it as American food.

“Ajarn, this is not my favorite subject.”

She says this perfectly serious.  Yeah, guess sarcasm is lost in translation.  Oops.

“Alright, well, I’m afraid we have to cover it again.”

The boys in the back are talking again.  Today, I think I’ll let them talk.

“So, the testis produces sperm.  What’s the function of the vas deferens?”

These questions and many others have been plaguing me all weekend as I’ve attempted to devise lesson plans for my M1 and M2 students.  That’s seventh and eighth graders to you Americans.  I have to teach science in English to students who are still learning English.  I have to hold the interest of the students who are practically fluent in English and those who barely understand three words.  I have to entertain not just those who love science, but those who hate it.  To make things worse, each class is completely different.  An activity might work for one class and fail spectacularly for another.

So what do I teach?  What do I cover, what do I skip, what do I focus on?  I have to write these lesson plans four weeks ahead of time, but not even the best laid plan survives contact with the students.  It’s very hard to judge how quickly a class will tear through the lesson plan.  Sometimes they burn through things that I thought would take them twice as long.  Other times they take forever trying to understand something that I thought was relatively straight forward or a given.  So far, most of my misjudgments have been underestimations.  But I’m sure that will change with time.

To make it a further challenge, there are a huge number of class days in the coming weeks lost to school wide activities.  This week Monday and Tuesday were holidays.  Next week, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are sports days.  No classes.  The week after that, no classes on Friday.  After that it’s Thursday and Friday that there aren’t classes.  I don’t even remember the reasons for those.  I don’t see my classes every day.  I have one double period and two single periods a week for the M1s.  For the M2s its one double period and one single period a week.  Since I have three M1 classes and two M2s, if I miss a couple of days of classes it can really screw up the schedule.  There’s a week where I see one class twice as much as I see the others.  I’m going to end up having that class just play games to fill the time.  And the others are going to be jealous that they have to work hard to keep up.

And it just continues to get better.  There’s no defined curriculum, so I’m making this up as I go along.  I’m using the previous teacher’s vague course plan and the book to try and determine what to teach, when and how much time to spend on teach topic.  But I have no idea if I’m actually adequately preparing them for next year.  And given how things go around here, if I’m under or overshooting I may never hear until its too late really.  There’s so much responsibility on my shoulders for these kids future.  I could either excite a wave of scientists or completely disillusion one.  Or have no effect at all either way.

I’m really glad I’m just their science teacher.  I can’t imagine being an American Elementary teacher and having to teach all subjects.  We don’t pay our teachers enough…

I don’t even know where to start.  It’s very weird, being on the other side.  After twenty plus years of being a student,  I’m the one standing in the front of the room, giving the lectures,  doing the grading.  It’s strange.  Among the things I’ve noticed, my organizational ability has increased substantially.  It has to.  Before I could always say, “Eh, the only person this matters to is me.  Who cares if I’m organized?”  Now, I have 130 or more students to whom it matters.  If I’m not organized I’ll lose their papers.  And then I have sad students on my hands.

I used to be able to say the same thing for class.  “Who cares if I’m not prepared for class?”  The only person it mattered to was me.  I could ignore the teacher and catch up on the lesson later if I so chose.  Now I can’t say that at all.  If I’m not prepared for class, it means there are thirty students sitting and staring at me and being very confused.  It means I look like an idiot and they don’t learn anything.

So far I think I’m doing alright.  I’m barely ahead of my lesson plans, but I’ve only had a week to get my head around it.  So it’s fairly reasonable that I would be.  Teaching science is hard with out a language barrier.  It’s really hard when there is one.  But it’s not impossible, and I think I’m starting to figure out what works and what doesn’t.  But I don’t have a grip on how fast I can go yet.  Or how much I can fit in in the time left.  I don’t really have much idea how deep I should try to get into some of the material, or whether I should try and skim by it as fast as possible.  Am I taking too much time to cover this?  Spending enough time on that?

I’m not going by the book.  I can understand why teachers would go by the book.  It’s the safe route.  If you go by the book, you know you can’t get in trouble with the school for teaching the wrong stuff – “It’s in the book!”  But going by the book doesn’t help the kids if you ask me.  I – and every one I’ve ever known – have always hated “by the book teachers”.  So I’m using the book to determine – very roughly – what I need to cover.  And then making it up from there.

But that leaves me with doubt.  Were they supposed to get this detailed an explanation of the periodic table in M2?  Do they need to know the difference between ionic and covalent bond?  Will I get in trouble for teaching it to them – even though I think it will help them understand much of the stuff that follows in the book?  They do chemical reactions and balancing equations later.  How can I teach them that if they don’t know about protons, electrons and ionic bonds?

And then of course, there’s a wish to be a liked teacher. Do they look forward to my lessons?  Are they interested?  Or are they helplessly bored? Is there anything I can do to make the material less boring?

I teach 18 hours a week (give or take).  I probably work a little closer to 50 to 60 hours.  I’m not even giving them that much work right now.  I’m supposed to give four weeks in advance of lesson plans to the administrators by the end of the month. I’m only a couple of days in advance with lesson plans right now.  When I do that, it’ll probably be more like 70 or 80 hours a week.  If I were to give and grade more work, it could easily go up more.

When I get home I’m just ready to crash.  Poor Michelle.  She doesn’t start for another week.  She’s bored out of her mind all day, then I get home and I’m utterly fried.   But at least that’ll only last for another week.  Then we’ll both be utterly fried.

On the bright side.  There are worse fates than having to sit in front of windows like these and grade papers.

And I love my students.  They seem to like me, so far.  Hopefully they’re learning something.  Only time – and my first test – will tell.