Riddles in the Dark

To fill their bellies, drink and speak;

People find this a great place to meet.

Though enter you may not,

A flag you might have got.

It’s funny the things you find yourself doing as a teacher.

Here you may wish to stay,

and simply float away.

But leave you must,

for a flag you lust.

If you told me before I came here that I’d be writing bad poetry in a few months, I’d think you were crazy.

In this room you arrive,

at our EP camp’s hive.

Behind a desk, greeters stand,

find flag near, students can.

Admittedly, they’re riddles for the scavenger hunt in this weekends EP camp.  They don’t have to be good.

In a place where people come and go,

Where from, I do not know.

Where to, I do not care.

Destinations  flag, you may find there.

Still, I find myself feeling kind of proud of them.  And even getting a little attached to them.  That one my partner didn’t think was obvious enough.   Personally I thought it was perfectly clear.  And for some inexplicable reason I’m deeply offended that my partner doesn’t agree.  Can you guess to where it refers?  They’re all places in a hotel.

Outside of a door of sleep,

try not to make a peep.

Enter through no doors,

and a flag might be yours.

Then again, other changes my partner made, I love.  The above two lines are not mine, but made this one infinitely better.

Maybe I’m just worked up.  I spent all of last period doing my best to emanate intense displeasure at my students.  They just wouldn’t shut up.   It’s the end of the day.  There’s a damned good reason the American school day ends at 2:30 pm.  There’s no way students are going to focus that late in the day.

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Fridge to Food

So Fridge to Food is in public beta.  And has been for several weeks.  A solid handful of people have registered and posted recipes.  There are just shy of 90 recipes in the database now.  Many of those with scrumptious looking images.   To all of you who have posted: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Those numbers are a little dispiriting though considering the number of bloggers I’ve contacted and places I’ve posted the link.  I know getting a community like this off the ground is very difficult.  Especially one that depends on people taking the 10 – 15 minutes it takes to post a recipe (longer with an image).  But I’m running out of ideas for how to get people interested in it.  The feedback I’ve gotten suggests that people like it, in principle, but aren’t blown away by it enough to join and help see it off the ground for the most part.

I’ve been reading up on how other sites like this – community driven sites – got going and it seems like their founders either already had a large audience to draw on or ghost wrote a whole bunch of content to get the ball rolling.  Well… I’ve got neither.  I can only cook so much food, and right now with out a real kitchen and limited to Thai ingredients what I can make is even further limited.   So I can’t really ghost write unless I decide I’m no longer going to post images.  And I don’t have a large group of followers to recruit from.

I feel like an arse cold e-mailing bloggers and posting on forums to attract people.  Although that has attracted a few people.  And I can’t afford any advertising.  Google’s taking its sweet time figuring out what exactly the sites about.  Google’s current keywords for it are “fridge” and “food”.  Which makes sense given the title, but not the content.  And the word “recipe” is certainly in the content enough that Google ought to consider it a keyword by now – but doesn’t.  Which is frustrating.

I’ll just have to be patient and keep plugging at it.  Hopefully it’ll be better when I have a kitchen and can cook every night to add recipes.   Also, to you readers who may be out there.  If you have a blog, website, facebook or twitter and want to give Fridge to Food a link and a shout out I would be deeply gratified.  Also, if you happen to have a recipe lying around to post that’d be amazing as well!

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Ajarn Dan, Take your Glasses Off

“Teacher, you took it away!”

“Took what away?”

“Your hair.”

“Oh, you mean, I shaved!  Yes, I did.”

“You very handsome.”

Okay, twelve year old girl, telling me I’m handsome.  That’s a little awkward.

“Thanks…”

Into the classroom, to talk to the Thai teachers.

“So, the students who need to retake my test, when can they do it?”

“We have free period, period 2,  Tuesday.”

Rats, I teach then.  I take my glasses off to rub my eyes and run my hand through my hair to get my bangs out of my face.

Two of the girls who are clustered around the Thai teacher’s desk squeal and start giggling madly.

“Ajarn Dan!”

“What?”

They don’t answer me, and instead bolt from the classroom still giggling.  Strange, but never mind.  Back to the Thai teacher.

“I teach then, when else?”

“Homeroom!”

“That works, homeroom it is.”

I turn to go to find the door blocked by a mass of 12 and 13 year old girls, squealing and giggling.

“What?  What are you all on about?”

“Ajarn Dan, take your glasses off!”

“You want me to do, what?

“Take your glasses off and then…” They mime running their hands through their hair.

“No, oh, come on, girls.  Let me through.”  They won’t budge.

“Ajarn Dan!  Please!  Take your glasses off!”

Back over my shoulder the two Thai teachers I’d been talking to are watching with huge grins on their faces.  Alright, just this once I’ll appease them.

“Alright, alright…”

I take my glasses off and repeat them motion.  The squeals and giggles are deafening.  Over my shoulder the Thai teachers have collapsed into uproarious laughter.  The sea of girls finally breaks and I make my way through and walk as quickly as possible to the teacher’s office.  A mass of 12 year old girls just asked me to take my glasses off and run my hand through my hair.  I’m not sure what to make of that…

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The Projected Trance

Another day, another class.

“Ajarn! Ajarn!  Free time!”

“No, you can’t have free time.  We have to work today.”

“Ajaaarrrnnn!”

“Work!”

Faces fall all over the room. Eh, they do this every class.

The laptop gets plugged into the projector and the white boards pushed aside to reveal the screen underneath.  Suddenly, the sullen looks disappear from the student’s faces.

I know I haven’t used the projector that much, but really?  Surely other teachers have used it plenty of times before.  It can’t be that interesting.

“Okay, today we’re going to talk about Acids, Bases and Solutions.  But first we need to discuss Atoms and Molecules.  Who remembers solutions?”

The students are silent and attentive to the Powerpoint on the projector screen.  It’s just black text on a white background.

“Solution, suspension and colloid?”

“Yes, that was what we talked about.  Who remembers what makes a solution a solution?”

Blank looks.  Yeah, expected that.

“Solutions don’t separate when you leave them sitting out.  The particles are dissolved.  Today we’re going to talk more about solutions.  The solute is the substance that gets dissolved…”

Furious note taking, intense concentration.  Where is this coming from?  The screen is a smart board, but it’s off.  I’m just lecturing from a white background with black text.  From whence comes the focus?

“The acids we’re going to study are called Arrhenius acids – don’t worry I’m not going to test you on the name.  Just know that there are other kinds that work differently…”

“Teacher, I haven’t finished copying.”

“Okay, I’ll wait.”

Silence while they write.  Some talking once they’ve finished, but so subdued.  Wonder if someone gave them sedatives last period.

“Some examples are hydrochloric acid, sulfuric acid and acetic acid… Alright, there’s the bell.  We’ll finish this next time!”

“Bye bye, Ajarn!”

Smiling faces, happy students, who knew power points could be so entrancing?

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The 9th Time

“Today, we are going to be studying the Human Reproductive systems.”

“Eeeeewwww!”

“We’re going to go straight from the book on this one, so take out your green books and turn to the page on the Reproductive System.  Do you all have your green books?”

“Yes, Ajarn.”

“Okay, we’ll start with the testis.  Who can tell me the function of the testis?”

There’s a surprising lack of giggles.  Maybe they can’t understand me.  I think I might be okay with that on this one.

“To produce sperm.”

Never mind.

“Ajarn, this is the 9th time I’ve learned this!”

I turn around to find a look of great distress on the face of the thirteen year old girl who’d announced this.

“Well, we have to do it one more time.  Hopefully, it’ll be the last.  I’m going to rush through it so we can get to new stuff.  Just one day, okay?”

She looks bummed, I don’t blame her.

“I don’t want to learn it again.”

“Really?  I would think this would be your favorite subject!”

She turns bright red, starts laughing hysterically and buries her face in her hands.  Thirteen! These kids are thirteen!  Too much!  They all look at least 16.  Hard to believe they’re thirteen.  I wonder if Thai food has as much growth hormone in it as American food.

“Ajarn, this is not my favorite subject.”

She says this perfectly serious.  Yeah, guess sarcasm is lost in translation.  Oops.

“Alright, well, I’m afraid we have to cover it again.”

The boys in the back are talking again.  Today, I think I’ll let them talk.

“So, the testis produces sperm.  What’s the function of the vas deferens?”

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